Life

So Friday night we had Carrie and Maria over to watch the Ranger game. It was the first night I felt like my old self. I laughed and talked and didn't feel guilty about it afterward. Saturday Vic and I spent the day together running errands. I called my mom to see if she wanted to see a movie I have been wanting to see, but when I looked up the show times it doesn't come out until this Friday. So we opted to go to church instead. Not surprising they just happened to have two babies getting baptised that night. I cried all the way through. It was bitter sweet seeing those parents so happy and proud of their babies. We baptised Christian, but I was unable to be with him because I had to go into surgery.

Sunday I had coffee with Maria and we shared our struggles. Those are some of the things that are getting me through. Vic was playing golf when I got home so I decided to let myself have a little "cry time". I went through Christian's things and smelled his little clothes and blanket. I also went through all his pictures and just let myself have some time with him. It really did help. I miss him so much. I have had so many women share their experience with me that I have started to be grateful for the few minutes I had with him. I got to hold him and he knew comfort and love while he was here.

Carrie's future hubby (just had to put that in there) :) is making a beautiful wooden box for Christian and all of his things. It will be so nice to have a place for him. I am so incredibly grateful for everyone in my life right now. I have an amazing family, marriage and the most faithful and loving friends you could imagine. They have carried me through this, and God has started piecing my heart back together. I am no longer afraid people will forget him.

I will see you again my Love.